I've just had a look back at my blog posts for this past year it started so well I was looking forward to doing shows and finishing my MA I've got a distinction if anyone is interested! It seems odd to graduate with no fanfare no ceremony all a bit of a damp squib really. For myself and every other graduate, I add this is not a woe is me blog!
2020 has been an absolute pants year for all of us and to say I'm doing things differently and rethinking everything is an understatement. It has left me very changed.
My home life is so unpredictable as are many lives this year, in our family, we have mental health problems, caused by covid that will cause massive changes next year but we will navigate through it all we always do. My kids are trying to do GCSEs and are at the mercy of various government decisions. Throughout 2020 I've worked twice as hard as ever before the first half was defined by very long hours studying and writing and researching, this was followed by job searches and the realisation that my idea of getting a museum/heritage job was probably not going to happen since everyone I know who works in one is on furlough or has been made redundant.
I'm not in a position to be able to rely on my partner's wages to sit it out until something comes along, so alongside my artwork, I've got a local shop job and I absolutely love it. I love the customer interaction and the people I work with and even the shelf stacking is a very mindful task. There is no music no news no phones just the real world with real people actually talking. This last bit is the most important for me, I spent six months this year stuck at home in my house not going out anywhere and I'm not doing it again. Life in front of a computer screen zooming teaming and whatever is not how I want to spend my time. I'm very proud to be working and have a uniform, a wage, and to be able to feed my kids.
When I said it has been a changing year it has I have had a lot of time to work out what I want in the future and it turns out that I know exactly who I am and always have been. A bloody artist! Yes, I know shock horror now I'm trying to navigate a pandemic situation where my sort of line of work is difficult except for the privileged few who have, pensions, or the support and no financial worries. Lowry was a debt collector all his life and his work reflects a deep understanding of real-life, in fact, most of the famous artists I admire are the same. Having a job has relieved some of the panic that I was feeling about having no shows and art groups to do workshops with, and I'm hoping that it will free up my stress and anxiety to be able to just paint and not keep having to chase leads.
Some may look down on me and define me by this moment in time but I'm quite confident that things will get better and opportunities will come my way in the future after all I am the girl who moved to Australia and started off sweeping floors in hairdressers and ended up flying to Sydney once a week teaching corporate trainers in suits how to teach retail. I've been homeless and I've built two houses basically what I'm saying is life sometimes is absolutely hard but get back up again and bloody fight your way out of it!
So far in 2020, I've got my MA I've also got an internship, I've created offline creativity packs for Derbyshire County Council, I've been filmed demonstrating my artwork for the Derwent Valley Mills World Heritage Site, I'm taking part in the UK's largest Humanities Festival 'Being Human' I've passed a Level 2 Safeguarding and British Values course I'm completing a Level 2 Equality and Diversity course because I want to fully understand the world I live in. I've also painted a few pictures and hope to have my end of year exhibition but we will see! I'm not going to list all that I have lost because I believe in life things happen for a reason and if we have lost or had to stop doing something then so be it that was not my path.
My 2020 moto: Stop moaning and use all your skills and get your head down and do stuff. Look at what you can do not what you can not.
I will keep creating and homeschooling and working and hope that soon the galleries, museums, and shows and art groups and all the things I love and I know you love too will start up again. I know Im not without a good future.
Take care everyone Ruth xxx
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