The first seven years of marriage was all about who could wear the other one down and dominate as well as have some children and build buy and sell about five houses we crammed in a few losses too parents, aunts, uncles and our own son, as well as moving abroad and back oh and I did a degree started around six different jobs and gave up a career.
It was exciting but also exhausting and we came back to the UK a shadow of our former selves.
Here we were back in the UK freezing to death in one of the coldest winters living in a house on a steep hill having to push a screaming baby around being smacked on the head by a toddler too.
Unhappy oh you bet we were it was like war of the roses on steroids everything was bloody difficult.
We had some time apart about 18 months but we saw more of each other than when we were together and the distance gave us space to recoup and work out how we wanted our life to be.
The thing is we never gave up on each other at all not once we could easily have killed each other many times over but we never gave up and these days I see so many people give up.
Its easy to imagine that the grass is greener that if you run away everything will be solved, that if we knew this person instead of that person it will make your life better, but sometimes you already have everything it just needs work and understanding.
No body is perfect I've never met anyone who is we all have our ups and downs I cherish friendships and feel grateful to those that stick around through thick and thin, life has a way of bringing people together when the time is right. Loyalty is something I am really into my Dad has been a shining example of loyalty being dependable and honest. Its something I try very hard to be loyal to those I care about.
Its a rather boring trait but something I try to maintain, obviously there are occasions when you are tested by people, pushed around demanded of and even rejected but I always think if I have been true to myself loyal and honest then I have no obligations of guilt.
We can only do what we think is right and we have no responsibility for another persons happiness we make our own happiness and it is for us to share with others to bring them joy.
In the early days of a marriage we think it is our responsibility but it is not, it is our responsibility to lift each other up and support but we cant change a person or demand of them. These are the things you learn if you stick something out, so although we have fought like cat and dog we have come to some sort of unspoken agreement that we are now fairly equal in our dealings with each other and I'm happy to say 15 years together is brilliant we still fight over stuff mainly the washing up, but these are the small things in life.
So here's hoping we have many more years to come life is not predictable but only you can decide whether you are loyal.
So what has any of the above got to do with art?
Well the same principals apply to your work as it does to your relationships if you keep at something remain true to yourself and loyal to your craft you will reap rewards a plenty. If you chop and change reject, make demands , let down ,wallow in misery and think the grass is greener it will all be very hard indeed and often very lonely.
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